Photo Copyright – Jan Wayne Fields
I couldn’t seem get a solid handle on a story for last week’s Friday Fictioneers. Several possibilities popped into mind immediately this week. I look forward to reading the myriad of interpretations.
Above Reproach
It was his fault. He posted articles online. He joined the movement. He was the one to speak out against the corrupt government, bought and paid for by the major corporations.
Nigel assumed he was untouchable, that his family’s status would shield him. He never considered the consequences to his family. Away for a weekend of protests, Nigel returned to find an empty home. While he played crusader for strangers, the mayor’s personal army came for his mother and sisters. Cold dinner waited in the kitchen to be served. Nigel waited at the window, hoping against hope for their return.
Luna's Writing Journal 
32 comments
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January 14, 2015 at 5:20 am
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
I thought I had left a comment.. but there is great feeling in this.. and it describes exactly how a government would act..
January 14, 2015 at 5:29 am
lunasgathering
It’s something I worry about when I post thoughts online that diverge from popular opinion. Thanks for the feedback! 🙂
January 14, 2015 at 7:03 am
rochellewisoff
Dear Luna,
Freedom is not without its price, is it? Well done story that had me anxiously waiting by the window.
Shalom,
Rochelle
January 15, 2015 at 3:28 am
lunasgathering
No, it’s not. Though sometimes the price is worth the freedom. Thanks 🙂
January 14, 2015 at 7:04 am
dmmacilroy
Dear Luna,
This story was well done, though I think another sentence beside the cold meal waiting for him could have been used. It seems to trivialize the disappearance of the women in his life as opposed to accentuating it. Overall an excellent entry into the fray.
Aloha,
Doug
January 15, 2015 at 3:30 am
lunasgathering
Thanks. Learning to maximize impact with so few words is definitely a work in progress. Thank you 🙂
January 14, 2015 at 8:32 am
Sandra
I loved the idea of ‘crusading for strangers’ whilst your loved ones pay the price back home. Well done.
January 14, 2015 at 9:35 am
sustainabilitea
I liked that same line. Often we forget about those closest to us as we take care of others.
janet
January 15, 2015 at 3:32 am
lunasgathering
Thanks 🙂 The many positive comments have made my day.
January 14, 2015 at 9:01 am
Michael B. Fishman
A timely story in light of many of the thing going on in the world today. It would have been interesting to know exactly what his involvements were rather than just the generic “the movement”. However, we’re limited to the 100 words so I know that’s difficult.
January 15, 2015 at 3:34 am
lunasgathering
I always have a hard time limiting myself to 100. So much to say and so few words in which to say it.
January 14, 2015 at 11:43 am
Helena Hann-Basquiat
I liked the idea that his house had almost become his prison, while he waits for them to take him to another one.
January 15, 2015 at 3:37 am
lunasgathering
Thank you. It was hard to leave it ambiguous. I very much wanted his family returned instead of him taken away but that seems the more likely outcome.
January 14, 2015 at 11:51 am
FabricatingFiction
Every action has a reaction as they say.
January 14, 2015 at 12:36 pm
Claire Fuller
Nice melancholy story. I liked the repetition of cold.
January 15, 2015 at 3:38 am
lunasgathering
Thank you 🙂
January 14, 2015 at 6:14 pm
Priceless Joy
I enjoyed reading it. It was very thought provoking.
January 15, 2015 at 3:39 am
lunasgathering
Glad you liked it. I might have to expand it to a short story at some point. I hated leaving him all alone.
January 15, 2015 at 5:22 am
Priceless Joy
I understand. LOL! Some of my friends were getting tired of my open-ended stories and wanted me to put an end on one of mine I recently wrote for the Daily Prompt. So I published part 2 last night (with the ending).
January 15, 2015 at 5:23 am
Priceless Joy
I hope somehow his family returns. 🙂 🙂
January 14, 2015 at 11:12 pm
i b arora
a bit terrifying but true in many societies.
January 15, 2015 at 3:41 am
lunasgathering
Definitely possible, especially as the current class war picks up pace.:(
January 15, 2015 at 10:34 am
BrainRants
The strangers vs. family idea is evocative of the military as well. Good job.
January 15, 2015 at 2:35 pm
lunasgathering
I can only imagine how hard it is to leave family behind to defend your country. It takes a special strength most can’t claim. Thanks 🙂
January 15, 2015 at 2:40 pm
BrainRants
You’re surely welcome.
January 15, 2015 at 12:05 pm
patrickprinsloo
Ah, you can’t beat city hall. But let’s hope he keeps up the pressure. Nice one.
January 15, 2015 at 2:36 pm
lunasgathering
Thanks 🙂
January 15, 2015 at 4:43 pm
Irene Waters 19 Writer Memoirist
Chilling particularly as this is happening in the world today. Loved “crusader for strangers”.
January 15, 2015 at 5:45 pm
Margaret
Chilling. Nigel’s choices have cost him dearly – but perhaps his only failure is that he expected otherwise, counting on status to protect his family. Well told. I love the closing touches – the cold dinner and his hopeful watching.
January 18, 2015 at 5:48 pm
hafong
This reminds me of the Edward Snowden story.
Lily
January 19, 2015 at 8:17 am
Emily Livingstone
Wow–interesting! I like that you’ve done some world-building in such a small space!
January 19, 2015 at 2:16 pm
lunasgathering
Thanks! 🙂